We each have a love bank. Similar to an actual bank account it requires regular deposits to grow. If the withdrawals exceed the deposit amounts we are left empty and often with other consequences. In order to avoid these deficits in our relationships, it is necessary to make consistent deposits into our mate’s love bank. Likewise, we are also responsible for making deposits into our own love banks. The Bliss List covers both.
The Bliss List concept is a two-fold deposit. It credits your mate for deposits while also giving you something to draw from as well. The Bliss List is simple and executed just as the name implies. Make a list of all of the blissful moments you’ve had with your mate. If the thought of it makes you smile, no matter how small, add it! With this exercise you’ll realize (hopefully) that there are more occurrences of joy than you may typically give credit for. The Bliss List offers perspective and illuminates things that we may take for granted. For instance, my Bliss List includes something as monumental as the time Babe drove 3 hours to spend the last hour of a day with me. But it also includes something as simple as us confessing that we’ve used each other’s deodorant before. (I’m smiling extra hard at that one. LOL.) The Bliss List should celebrate the goodness of your partner and highlight the joy you feel when you all are engaged with one another.
Your Bliss List is a growing document. Set aside time to add to it. You may do this once a year on a special anniversary, quarterly or monthly. In fact, you may be one of those people with the capacity to keep it regularly updated as things happen – If that’s the case, go you! Whatever your approach, just be sure to find your Bliss List rhythm and make it work for you.
Now that you have your Bliss List put together here are a few ways to put it to good use.
1. Anniversary Reading – Each anniversary sit down with your mate and read through the list. Or if you’re like me, read the list alone. I read the list alone and remind myself of why I’m happy to be connected to Babe.
2. Fire Extinguisher – Intense moments of fellowship are inevitable. When your love bank account has taken a hit from a major (or minor) encounter, take some time to reset. Read a few items off of your list until you get to a place of feeling more positive and replenished.
3. Looking Ahead – Undoubtedly you and your Honey have built an arsenal of memories. Look at your list and determine which items and experiences you’d like to recreate. Do any of your encounters spark an idea of something to try in the future? Go for it.
4. Just Because – We are bombarded with messaging, positive and negative, throughout our daily lives. Take a moment to intentionally reconnect by sharing an item from your Bliss List unexpectedly. This periodic check-in will serve as a simple, yet thoughtful, indicator to your mate that you don’t take them and the life you’re sharing for granted.