Words That Impact Marriages

When getting married our reasoning is usually something like “we’re really in love” or “we want to take our relationship to the next level”. However, once we cross over into marriage a couple of things are to be considered – (1) love is there, but it takes work to maintain those loving feelings and (2) marriage can be seen as the final stage of a relationship. Yes, we add children and later grandchildren, but the relationship between the two individuals, that’s it. Most of us get married aiming to not be with anyone else. We are partnering with the person that we hope to spend the rest of our lives with. [Can I take a transparency break and acknowledge how scary that commitment sounds to me considering that I intend to live a long life? Eek!] And in spending a lifetime with someone we become creatures of habit and live life in cycles. Our spouses are predictable and our lives become routine. We are talking to the same person day in and day out and those conversations follow a pattern. We wake in the morning and say “I love you”. We exchange the sentiment again as we part ways, and once more as we prepare to rest for the night. The in between is filled with chatter of our day, responsibilities and if we’re lucky, a bit of laughter and daydreaming too. But what if there was a way to create a brief marriage battery boost? I’m thinking along the lines of changing our dialogue to acknowledge, encourage and inspire our mates. A few words inserted to change the course of routine that remind them that they still do it for you and vice versa. Some phrases to insert into your marriage vocabulary beyond “I love you” are:

1.       Thank you.

2.       I support you.

3.       I trust you.

4.       I respect you.

5.       I appreciate you.

6.       I think you’re…

7.       You inspire me.

8.       You can…

9.       You are…

10.   I believe in you.

11.   I believe in your ability to…

12.   How can I help you accomplish…?

13.   What do you need from me today?

14.   I’m available to you.

15.   I feel most connected to you when…

16.   The last time we… it was…

17.   Your touch makes me feel…

18.   I’m attracted to your…

19.   I still want you.

20.   I still choose you.

 

Keep variety in your vocabulary so that the pulse of your love beats strong. May your voice ever be in the ear of your love, and not in the nagging way. 😉

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